


Who's the Stick in the Mud Now?

by ThreeHats



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies)
Genre: Crack, Crossover, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-02
Updated: 2016-05-02
Packaged: 2018-06-06 00:40:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6730279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThreeHats/pseuds/ThreeHats
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve Rogers stumbles across a particularly nefarious villain while trying to unwind.  But some harsh words from Tony make him re-think his approach... with alcohol.</p><p>All characters, locations and scenarios were pulled out of a hat to create this story, which was written in 30 minutes or less.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Who's the Stick in the Mud Now?

**Characters:** Captain America, The Mandarin  
**Location:** Karaoke bar  
**Scenario:** one too many drinks

All characters, locations and scenarios were pulled out of a hat to create this story, which was written in 30 minutes or less.

Going to the karaoke bar wasn’t exactly his idea of a good time, but after endless prodding about needing to “lighten up” combined with Clint talking about how much fun it was, it seemed like a good combination. He wasn’t quite sure how long it had been since he sang something, but he was Captain America, and he was going to sing every patriotic song they had. Really it was something he had been wanting to try for a while, but was too afraid to give it a go until he was annoyed by Tony for being too much of a buzzkill. 

He walked into the establishment assuming it would be a single stage surrounded by drunk patrons that wouldn’t care if he was there or not, but he was surprised to find that there were hallways will doors that you could only see into by a little bit. He could tell that lots of people were already there and having a swell time, so he approached the desk asking for a room. “Sorry my guy” said the man behind the register. “We just filled up a minute ago, although, the room that was reserved for 2 hasn’t shown up yet. Maybe you can take it if they don’t get here in the next 20 minutes or so?” “oh, right. Well, I can wait I suppose. There’s nothing going on today that needs me...I hope” he muttered under his breath. 

He took a seat and waited for about 5 minutes before a man who looked a combination of ragged and refined walked up to the counter with two women. “Sorry fellow, looks like you’re out for today.” said the cashier. “What’s all that about?” said the man who approached the counter. “I wouldn’t have you leave when there are songs to be sung!” “Oh well that’s very kind of you, but I wouldn’t want to intrude on your ti-” “NOnesense, nonsense! I’ve got two lovely ladies here who have talked about coming here for a week and there’s nothing wrong with adding another handsome figure to the bunch you know?” he said, cutting Steve off. It was pretty obvious that this man was far past the legal limit on alcohol, and possibly other substances. Steve’s strong morals were about to get in the way, but then he heard Tony’s taunts in the back of his mind again, and figured this story would be enough to shut him up for a while. “Sure! Why not. The more the merrier, right?” Steve beamed. 

After they had settled into the room, Steve found himself very nervous at the prospect of singing in front of other people. The two women that came with the haggard looking man sang several songs before trying to get their escort to do one. Steve was assuming that this guy wouldn’t be able to hold a candle with how drunk he was, but sat open-mouthed as when the music started up he may as well have been Frank Sinatra. The spotlight was on this mysterious drunk, and he was soaking it in, singing as if he were singing at a concert for thousands of adoring fans. The song ended and Steve found himself clapping dumbly alongside the two companions. 

“That was amazing! Where did you learn to sing like that?” Steve questioned. “I’m an acteur in some big stuff. It’s in my blood.” He said as he pounded his chest. “From rags to riches after that role as the Mandarin.” “THE WHAT?!” Steve remembered instantly the stories in Tony’s file about the Mandarin. It was a complicated setup, but he was certain that this man was behind bars for being an accomplice at this point. “Oh yeah, I feel like things got a bit hairy there for a bit, but it was a good role. Paid buckets.” “How are you, you should be in jail! Ladies, you should get out of here.” Steve said, his feathers were obviously ruffled, but he wasn’t sure if this man was dangerous or not. “Poo poo. Sit down and have a drink” the mandarin said as he pulled several beers out of his pocket. “Are you joking? You’re going to jail.” Steve said as the women closed the door. “That’s fine and well, but you haven’t had a chance to sing yet. Would hate to say that I got to meet Captain America and didn’t get to hear him sing.” he said quite calmly with a smirk and glazed eyes. “Not happening.” Steve said gruffly. “Oh you’re such a stick in the mud. You can sort of tell who’s going to be fun out of your group, and you’re obviously not on the same level as that Tony fellow. 

There it was. The nerve was struck, and he realized that this old drunk wasn’t about to do anything really dangerous. “You know what, I’m going to sing America the Beautiful, poorly, while drinking one of those beers, and you’re going to tell that Tony fellow how much fun I can have.” Steve said, obviously serious, but making it hard to hear what he was saying in earnest. “Well of course! You’ve already made my afternoon pretty exciting, and to be quite frank I don’t really like that Stark character anyhow. Pointed a gun in my face once, and he seemed like a bit of a prick.” he said as he impressively chugged two beers while speaking. “Give me some of those.” Steve said as he grabbed for a beer and tried, and failed to chug it in one go. It ended up being closer to 4-5 large sips after he finished sputtering from the initial attempt. “There ya go mah boy!” the mandarin said as he pulled a six pack out of his coat. Steve wasn’t about to be a lightweight, and finished three more before grabbing a mic and wailing poorly into the mic, not realizing he was supposed to pic the song first so that the music would play in the background. The Mandarin, who at some point gave his name as Trevor, set up Steve for 3 more songs before sneaking out the door when Steve was all too caught up in singing “Poison” from Brittany Spears, mainly because he didn’t really know the lyrics. 

Tony certainly didn’t approve of the new and improved “fun steve”, which only let the hard feelings between them grow even further. His teammates however were thrilled that Steve was working on trying to be “cool”, mainly because it was hilarious, but also because he still caught the Mandarin on his way out since the old man had passed out in the hall trying to match drink for drink with Captain America and lost.


End file.
